thebagofholding:

“man i am so tired” stays up for 3 more hours doing absolutely nothing

bunny-banana:

IF YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I’M GONNA LISTEN TO YOU EXPLAINING TO ME ALL THE DIFFERENT REGIONAL ACCENTS/DIALECTS OF YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE AND SHOWING ME THE EXACT LINGUISTIC DIFFERENCES TO RELATED LANGUAGES then you are absolutely right make yourself comfortable i’ll just bring the popcorn and then we can proceed

I can’t even put together a dinner party and multiple girls I went to high school with are putting entire weddings together. 

Gf:babe come over
Me:I'm eating garlic bread
Gf:I'm horny and my parents aren't home
Me:it's the kind that's covered in cheese
The things I find most beautiful about a person are almost never physical.

makhon:

francieumpocalypse:

mishacockins:

this gif is my fucking favorite thing in the world, the way Misha turns around expecting a normal sized human

image

Why is there a moose in my space

expecting a normal sized human

pois0nsi0ux:


becausebirds:

LET THERE BE BONES!

This actually made me smile

pois0nsi0ux:

becausebirds:

LET THERE BE BONES!

This actually made me smile

Anonymous said: dirty confession: i'm a teacher and my ex had a teacher fantasy so i'd talk math formulas before we did the do and after a while I was curious so i said the quadratic formula in public and he automatically got a boner and we broke up because i thought it was really funny and wouldn't stop doing it

necromorph-slayinglovemachine:

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Dear Men Above Me, 

Are you guys dancing or killing someone? 

Thanking the Lord I’m not famous atm.